Listening to music while sleeping

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Is there a heaven out there? I don't know but what I do know is when I am lying on the bed listening to song of 'The Eagles', I get very close to a feeling, which I might call heaven on Earth. All the tensions of the day are swiped clean and I feel like I am stoned after doing it.

Before I used to listen to music walking around the house, I used to listen to Linkin Park and Eminem that time, yes, the experience was good that time too, but it never took me to this level of peace. All the weird feelings you get in your stomach when something goes wrong was gone and I just felt all relaxed and cool! It really did alter my mood for a few hours atleast, I felt clam and in a state of bliss and really didn't care about anything happening around me.


Remember, the music I was listening to was by The Eagles which produces a classic country rock melody which really helps you relax. I also heard that the same effect can be got by listening to Bob Marley and certain other guys.

I've always been more of a rock person, but not hard rock or heavy metal kind of stuff. I used to listen to Linkin Park cos my neighbour and some friends are die hard fans of it, even I started to like it but it was nothing compared to the Eagles. The first time I listened to them, when they said Deeeeesperado, I was pulled into their song and felt like its going to be what I am going to listen to forever and ever. I also have the entire eagles discography with me, that is all the songs made by them till now is with me.

Listening to music lying down and eyes closed also allows you to focus well on the song. Its strange how some of the people I know can go to sleep while watching tv or listening to music, it has never happened to me, even if I have had only four hours of sleep, and then there is my mom and dad who, if sleepy, can sleep in a metal concert.

Computer Exam tomorrow!!

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We have an exam on computer concepts and programming (ccp) tomorrow at 2 pm. Its a pretty simple subject, with the basic things which I have already finished in my school.
Its seven now and I have finished two questions in it and there are three more questions to go. I am doing the chapters Algorithm and Flowcharts, Basic C, Decision Making and Looping, Functions or arrays and a unit from Part A.

The thing is that those who took computers as a subject in school don't really have to study here for this because it is just the repetition of what we did there. In that way it is easy for us, better than that for the biology students who came into the computer stream.

Its good that computer science is an easy subject for me this time because I got a long break without much studying for the all-so-feared electronics exam, but I have good internal marks in electronics too. Hopefully, I will do well in that too.

Also, I was the topper for the entire college in the second puc exam (equivalent to 12 board exam), I don't know which rank I fall in the state but I got really high marks and was felicitated in college for it.

I hope I do well in the exams tomorrow too, just in case, a little nervous energy always helps me perform better. I will go study two more chapters now and finish the rest at night.

Tomorrow at 2 I will be in college writing the exam and will be out by 5 after that we have the electronics exam.

Power just went and I am working on the ups.

Honesty Box on Facebook

There is this application on facebook, where we can anonymously tell our friends what we think about them. And also get their opinion on what they think of us without actually getting to know who they really are. People ask different questions like "am I a good friend" or "am I fun to be with" and there are lots of creative questions like that, to which people can reply.

There is the person P, who is bitchy and insults me for no reason what so ever, no really I mean it, so I stopped talking with her. Now her question on the honesty box is "am I a good friend". Most of her friends might have put yes because she does silly little things for them. But she specifically took time off at 11 pm in the night, just to call me and tease me and no, not constructive critisizm, just insult. I mean who does that? What person of good heart can ever think of doing such a sick and mean thing in their life?

I have no regrets to stop talking to her and I will continue to do so, no one should actually be given the right to spoil the quality of my life. I love it and will go to any extent to protect myself from getting hurt, in anyway. The feeling literally is so strong, that I wouldn't mind getting violent to protect myself. And such instincts on a 6 foot guy who works out and has been learning karate since age four is very dangerous, maybe even a threat to society ;)

The last time being called a Fishhead

A few years after the guy who started the name went away, there was another character. I love the person I look at in the mirror and frankly I think I deserve the attention a movie star deserves, and thanks to that girls actually do. But in that past, due to the perception of a few on who I was, the image had got bad a little. Not that I looked bad then or anything, actually people who didn't know me well thought I was especially good looking.

It was for a trip to Hyderabad, were a guy came up to me and said, 'Dude, you look like a fish head in this photo'. Actually, it was one of the sweetest photographs of me, but he had to say it because he had a bad perception of me. But I thought, enough! And I argued that I look really good in it. So he took it to the tour guide. The tour guide, gave the other guy a look, a look which told him 'are you crazy?', and the tour guide told that I looked 'ok' in it. Even he was clearly in denial that I looked bad because I could see it in his eyes.

The guy who actually came up to me and told it, actually meant it in a way like, you are so cool now but how come your photo is like this. I actually was cool that time, due to my bonding with the popular seniors and the type of music I listened to.

The perception problem though was still in him. Even though I was this cool guy for the outer world, he didn't consider me so. He sub-consciously wanted to show me that, not intentionally and that comment came out of nowhere. It did affect me!

This was the last time anyone called me 'fishhead' and the world was convinced that they guy who wore his pants high and parted his hair in the middle or let it down had finally changed into something really out of their world, all thanks to TV and other influences. My primary fashion influences were Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt.

Now, I am telling that I am a cool dude. But I was not always so. As I told I used to wear my pants high and let my hair down or part it center. I always liked the way I look, in any way it didn't matter to me much, but the world did care about the way others dress and stuff. Being raised by a single mom (plus engineer), there was a bit of a girl touch in the dressing style that time.

All that has changed now, but I still consider those days to be one of the best in my life, I was so care-free and happy.

A friend who was never really a friend

This is the recollection of a bunch of incidents from my school life. About a boy who always used to be around me and never let go of me and yet insult me and call me names at the same time. I always think that I should have told him that it hurt me when he called me names, but I never told him and maybe that's why he kept going on and on with it.

He was an overall not a bad person, not very good either. One day he told me that his aim was to humiliate each and every person in class. That was the day I figured out that he was not normal and something was up with him.

He had come from Bengal, from Barrakpore military school, it is one of the hardest schools to be in and he survived out of that. Maybe that is the reason he was like that. He was pretty tall, with short hair and a good football player, not very good at studies and mostly people were afraid of him. He made people think that he was really rich, even if his parents were teachers, who didn't look like they made a lot of money.

A confused soul he was, doing things that a normal teen is not supposed to do. But mostly proud and arrogant. The part that really pissed me off about him was his habit of insulting people, including me. The same habit I am seeing with another Bengali friend of mine.

He used to call me 'fishhead'. The reason being that I told him Mangaloreans are intelligent because they eat fish and the name stuck on for about a year. He told one guy to write some bad stuff about me on the computer and the other guy did it and then I took that matter to the principal and things were sorted out. Then there was the judgemental symbol he and another guy used to make to judge if what I was saying is stupid or smart. He also used to comment about the way I used to wear my pants, I used to wear it rather high. All this makes me think that he was a bully.

I don't consider that it was my fault in anyway that he was picking me, it was just his ugly nature. He used to do it to everyone around him, but I was the easy target because I never fought back. That time, I used to think ignoring it was the best policy, but I didn't know ignoring means not talking to him ever again. Atleast now I know that the best thing to do is to ignore a person who is irritating me, completly.

In my opinion he was a bad guy, and a bad influence in my life which toughened me up and made me more self-conscious. Its been a lot of years now, yet I think about him sometimes and think about what I should have done to make him stop.

Introduction to this blog

I am a genius and I mean that in a literal and most modest way. Its not that I always get top grades and have trouble living normal life and that I carry a pocket protractor but without being all that I am a genius because of the way I have handled and things that I have created. I am blogging out here by the name 'Park Hit Jar' which is an anagram of my name.

The reason I call my self a genius is because that is what I believe I am. I have an iq of 143 and since beginning of time, I have created various things like a motorboat, a submarine, a water purifier and now I am on to creating a framework for a simple gun and research on coconut for power generation. I thought these things were normal and every kid does it, much to my realization that at that age kids do nothing but play in mud. I am not that old now either, using the same genius in me, I am leading a normal life, dependent on my parents, because that is the system in this country.

I am not proud of this at all, even if I may sound cocky, believe me, I have no reason to be so. Although I am one of the popular guys in class, I believe that's because the effort I put into being a popular guy and it is not embedded in me or anything. I am popular because I use my brains into being popular and cracking witty jokes at time, which gets me to centre of attention. It is also because, I am a rebel of a type, free spirited and the teachers love to play with me. By play, I mean, scold me playfully, in a good spirit for not doing my home work.

Thanks to my parents, I am in a good college now, through a management seat. I know you might be thinking that how could a genius not have got seat through merit, but my 11th and 12th class has not gone like a normal guy, it was one of the best learning curves of my life. It thought me more about life than standard maths or physics.

My whole life has been a learning curve. When problems come, I give it the name learning curve. Most of the problems in my life have been created by me because of my quick temper or pride. Yes, I used to be proud, till I realized that humility is what I should believe in. And after starting to believe in humility, its as though life has changed and what things I always wanted, has come to me. Yes, I know everyone has problems. Life has been a bit easy for me in someways too. I am not complaining about anything at all. I love my life and self and things in that past should have happened the same way as it did.

I am a loving son, a good friend, a great student but most of all, I am just anyother guy you'll see walking on the street.