A few years after the guy who started the name went away, there was another character. I love the person I look at in the mirror and frankly I think I deserve the attention a movie star deserves, and thanks to that girls actually do. But in that past, due to the perception of a few on who I was, the image had got bad a little. Not that I looked bad then or anything, actually people who didn't know me well thought I was especially good looking.
It was for a trip to Hyderabad, were a guy came up to me and said, 'Dude, you look like a fish head in this photo'. Actually, it was one of the sweetest photographs of me, but he had to say it because he had a bad perception of me. But I thought, enough! And I argued that I look really good in it. So he took it to the tour guide. The tour guide, gave the other guy a look, a look which told him 'are you crazy?', and the tour guide told that I looked 'ok' in it. Even he was clearly in denial that I looked bad because I could see it in his eyes.
The guy who actually came up to me and told it, actually meant it in a way like, you are so cool now but how come your photo is like this. I actually was cool that time, due to my bonding with the popular seniors and the type of music I listened to.
The perception problem though was still in him. Even though I was this cool guy for the outer world, he didn't consider me so. He sub-consciously wanted to show me that, not intentionally and that comment came out of nowhere. It did affect me!
This was the last time anyone called me 'fishhead' and the world was convinced that they guy who wore his pants high and parted his hair in the middle or let it down had finally changed into something really out of their world, all thanks to TV and other influences. My primary fashion influences were Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt.
Now, I am telling that I am a cool dude. But I was not always so. As I told I used to wear my pants high and let my hair down or part it center. I always liked the way I look, in any way it didn't matter to me much, but the world did care about the way others dress and stuff. Being raised by a single mom (plus engineer), there was a bit of a girl touch in the dressing style that time.
All that has changed now, but I still consider those days to be one of the best in my life, I was so care-free and happy.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
A friend who was never really a friend
This is the recollection of a bunch of incidents from my school life. About a boy who always used to be around me and never let go of me and yet insult me and call me names at the same time. I always think that I should have told him that it hurt me when he called me names, but I never told him and maybe that's why he kept going on and on with it.
He was an overall not a bad person, not very good either. One day he told me that his aim was to humiliate each and every person in class. That was the day I figured out that he was not normal and something was up with him.
He had come from Bengal, from Barrakpore military school, it is one of the hardest schools to be in and he survived out of that. Maybe that is the reason he was like that. He was pretty tall, with short hair and a good football player, not very good at studies and mostly people were afraid of him. He made people think that he was really rich, even if his parents were teachers, who didn't look like they made a lot of money.
A confused soul he was, doing things that a normal teen is not supposed to do. But mostly proud and arrogant. The part that really pissed me off about him was his habit of insulting people, including me. The same habit I am seeing with another Bengali friend of mine.
He used to call me 'fishhead'. The reason being that I told him Mangaloreans are intelligent because they eat fish and the name stuck on for about a year. He told one guy to write some bad stuff about me on the computer and the other guy did it and then I took that matter to the principal and things were sorted out. Then there was the judgemental symbol he and another guy used to make to judge if what I was saying is stupid or smart. He also used to comment about the way I used to wear my pants, I used to wear it rather high. All this makes me think that he was a bully.
I don't consider that it was my fault in anyway that he was picking me, it was just his ugly nature. He used to do it to everyone around him, but I was the easy target because I never fought back. That time, I used to think ignoring it was the best policy, but I didn't know ignoring means not talking to him ever again. Atleast now I know that the best thing to do is to ignore a person who is irritating me, completly.
In my opinion he was a bad guy, and a bad influence in my life which toughened me up and made me more self-conscious. Its been a lot of years now, yet I think about him sometimes and think about what I should have done to make him stop.
He was an overall not a bad person, not very good either. One day he told me that his aim was to humiliate each and every person in class. That was the day I figured out that he was not normal and something was up with him.
He had come from Bengal, from Barrakpore military school, it is one of the hardest schools to be in and he survived out of that. Maybe that is the reason he was like that. He was pretty tall, with short hair and a good football player, not very good at studies and mostly people were afraid of him. He made people think that he was really rich, even if his parents were teachers, who didn't look like they made a lot of money.
A confused soul he was, doing things that a normal teen is not supposed to do. But mostly proud and arrogant. The part that really pissed me off about him was his habit of insulting people, including me. The same habit I am seeing with another Bengali friend of mine.
He used to call me 'fishhead'. The reason being that I told him Mangaloreans are intelligent because they eat fish and the name stuck on for about a year. He told one guy to write some bad stuff about me on the computer and the other guy did it and then I took that matter to the principal and things were sorted out. Then there was the judgemental symbol he and another guy used to make to judge if what I was saying is stupid or smart. He also used to comment about the way I used to wear my pants, I used to wear it rather high. All this makes me think that he was a bully.
I don't consider that it was my fault in anyway that he was picking me, it was just his ugly nature. He used to do it to everyone around him, but I was the easy target because I never fought back. That time, I used to think ignoring it was the best policy, but I didn't know ignoring means not talking to him ever again. Atleast now I know that the best thing to do is to ignore a person who is irritating me, completly.
In my opinion he was a bad guy, and a bad influence in my life which toughened me up and made me more self-conscious. Its been a lot of years now, yet I think about him sometimes and think about what I should have done to make him stop.
Introduction to this blog
I am a genius and I mean that in a literal and most modest way. Its not that I always get top grades and have trouble living normal life and that I carry a pocket protractor but without being all that I am a genius because of the way I have handled and things that I have created. I am blogging out here by the name 'Park Hit Jar' which is an anagram of my name.
The reason I call my self a genius is because that is what I believe I am. I have an iq of 143 and since beginning of time, I have created various things like a motorboat, a submarine, a water purifier and now I am on to creating a framework for a simple gun and research on coconut for power generation. I thought these things were normal and every kid does it, much to my realization that at that age kids do nothing but play in mud. I am not that old now either, using the same genius in me, I am leading a normal life, dependent on my parents, because that is the system in this country.
I am not proud of this at all, even if I may sound cocky, believe me, I have no reason to be so. Although I am one of the popular guys in class, I believe that's because the effort I put into being a popular guy and it is not embedded in me or anything. I am popular because I use my brains into being popular and cracking witty jokes at time, which gets me to centre of attention. It is also because, I am a rebel of a type, free spirited and the teachers love to play with me. By play, I mean, scold me playfully, in a good spirit for not doing my home work.
Thanks to my parents, I am in a good college now, through a management seat. I know you might be thinking that how could a genius not have got seat through merit, but my 11th and 12th class has not gone like a normal guy, it was one of the best learning curves of my life. It thought me more about life than standard maths or physics.
My whole life has been a learning curve. When problems come, I give it the name learning curve. Most of the problems in my life have been created by me because of my quick temper or pride. Yes, I used to be proud, till I realized that humility is what I should believe in. And after starting to believe in humility, its as though life has changed and what things I always wanted, has come to me. Yes, I know everyone has problems. Life has been a bit easy for me in someways too. I am not complaining about anything at all. I love my life and self and things in that past should have happened the same way as it did.
I am a loving son, a good friend, a great student but most of all, I am just anyother guy you'll see walking on the street.
The reason I call my self a genius is because that is what I believe I am. I have an iq of 143 and since beginning of time, I have created various things like a motorboat, a submarine, a water purifier and now I am on to creating a framework for a simple gun and research on coconut for power generation. I thought these things were normal and every kid does it, much to my realization that at that age kids do nothing but play in mud. I am not that old now either, using the same genius in me, I am leading a normal life, dependent on my parents, because that is the system in this country.
I am not proud of this at all, even if I may sound cocky, believe me, I have no reason to be so. Although I am one of the popular guys in class, I believe that's because the effort I put into being a popular guy and it is not embedded in me or anything. I am popular because I use my brains into being popular and cracking witty jokes at time, which gets me to centre of attention. It is also because, I am a rebel of a type, free spirited and the teachers love to play with me. By play, I mean, scold me playfully, in a good spirit for not doing my home work.
Thanks to my parents, I am in a good college now, through a management seat. I know you might be thinking that how could a genius not have got seat through merit, but my 11th and 12th class has not gone like a normal guy, it was one of the best learning curves of my life. It thought me more about life than standard maths or physics.
My whole life has been a learning curve. When problems come, I give it the name learning curve. Most of the problems in my life have been created by me because of my quick temper or pride. Yes, I used to be proud, till I realized that humility is what I should believe in. And after starting to believe in humility, its as though life has changed and what things I always wanted, has come to me. Yes, I know everyone has problems. Life has been a bit easy for me in someways too. I am not complaining about anything at all. I love my life and self and things in that past should have happened the same way as it did.
I am a loving son, a good friend, a great student but most of all, I am just anyother guy you'll see walking on the street.
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